When Things Don't Go Well

Tangles: Munchin, Paradox. Micron 08 in black, white gellyroll, black gesso on part of the page, white chalk pencil, graphite. This is from Project Pack 06 Day 4 of Zentangle® (videos on YouTube), although I took a LOT of liberties and adapted it.

Well this was tough!  I'm not quite sure why.  I did notice, though, that when I sat down to work on this, I was not feeling at my best emotionally.  In fact I was feeling like s*** emotionally.  That's quite unusual, but it's been a tough couple of weeks.  Events and politics have been even more challenging (which is really saying something in this country).

I got started and right from the get-go I disliked what I was doing.  If I had been working on a single sheet of paper or a tile, I'd probably have abandoned this.  Possibly I'd have ripped it up.  But I was working in a special notebook, and didn't feel I could  leave it and ignore it without diminishing all the other pieces I had done already in the book.  So, following a Zentangle guideline, I kept my hand moving and focused on one line at a time.  I worked and worked, but really. did. not. like. it. 

Following another Zentangle guideline, I walked away from it for a while.  When I returned, it still wasn't exciting me but I noticed I didn't dislike it quite as much.  So I sat down and kept on.  And on.  And on!

It's still not my favorite page, but I'm ok with where I ended up, especially given how I felt when I started.  Most of all, I'm happy I persisted.  There's a lesson in here.  My mood had improved substantially when I was done.

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
--attributed to the Buddha