Yesterday I asked my neighbor if she knew what the flowering, beautifully scented bush was in our front yard (we didn't plant it) and she said yes:  Clethra.  I thought she said "plethora" and assumed she was referring to the high number of fabulous blossoms.  But no, she was naming Clethra alnifolia, also known as the sweet pepperbush or "summersweet."  I love that last name.

Summersweet is incredibly seductive to honeybees and butterflies, both of which I've seen--a "plethora" of them--since it began to bloom a few weeks ago.  And the scent...oh, the scent is so lovely.  I feel honored to be in the presence of this plant.  I remember it bloomed the first summer I moved here, but not last year.  What a treat to have it make such a big comeback this year.  Here's a blossom from our front yard.

There were so many honeybees and other cuties drinking from the flowers that I'm surprised I didn't have to beat any of them back to get this photo but this one stem was not being worked just as I snapped the shutter.  Lots of Monarch butterflies and other butterflies around it also this year.  It's a good year for the Monarchs around here--god knows they need a good year.  And the bees as well.

Advice from a Honeybee

Create a buzz.
Sip life's sweet moments.
Mind your own beeswax.
Work together.
Always find your way home.
Stick close to your honey.
Always bee yourself.

--Ilan Shamir

I hasten to say here that I am simply following along with the Project Pack videos as I draw, so these compositions are copies of what is on the videos, not my original compositions.  99% of what I post here is original to me, but sometimes, when I don't have the mojo--which has been happening lately for unknown reasons--it's just so relaxing to follow along and copy-to-learn-from someone else's work.  I always attribute the work to the originator, as I've done here and for my last several posts.

Before I retired, I often wore pins as a decoration when I went to my office.  But now that I spend my time in jeans and t-shirts, the pins are languishing.  Here is a pin I never wore, a cameo.  I love it (and used to have a much larger one which was far more lovely, but it was stolen during a break-in at my former residence) but I never wore it.  Not once.  I simply had it because it reminded me of some positive things from my childhood.  Since it was just languishing away, I re-purposed it onto a card with some tangling.  I may put it into a shadow-box frame.

This may or may not be a genuine cameo (there are plenty of plastic fakes out there) but it doesn't matter to me.  It has sentimental value.

tWhat is the use of seeking advice if one doesn't listen?  This was my card for Monday (I love these cards, more info below).  But did I listen?  No.  Instead of cocooning after a tiring week away, I spent the day in 5 degree Farenheit weather running around from event to event.  Now, all the events were good ones.  I'm just lucky, though, that my good friends were able to put up with my grumpy self. 

Because trust me, I was grumpy.  Overtired, overscheduled, and grumpy.  Very bad planning on my part.  Good thing I have long-suffering friends.

The cards (these are not tarot cards, just wonderful little cardboard coaches):

Remember the very strange story of the hula girl figure  from last August/September ?  (click here to refresh your memory)  She mysteriously appeared atop our mailboxes one day, stayed a few weeks, then disappeared.  But she reappeared in September (it's all in the link above). 
Here is a photo of how she looked then (just below). 
But read on to see how she looked as of this morning...

She was appropriately (if scantily) dressed back then. 

But.  Well. 

It is now November and we have already had two snowstorms...and winter's barely begun.

On my way to do some errands this morning I stopped at the mailbox and...

I nearly swallowed my tongue laughing when I spotted this:

A few years back, I was fortunate enough to get a copy of C.G. Jung's The Red Book.  It is a gigantic, larger-than-coffee-table volume.  I just acquired a music stand/lectern-type piece of cherry furniture on which I can finally display it  and have begun looking through it.  It is inspirational--just for the paintings, and I haven't even started to read yet.  One of the paintings inspired me to do this sun-and-moon linework on a Zentangle® tile.

It's my second entry this week for Diva's Challenge #368, in which she asked us to focus on straight lines (see yesterday's post for the first version).  It is so relaxing.

This is the original tile, without the rosy-glow added by the filter.  I like them both.

See this previous entry for the start of this story...

Does she look a little different to you?

Indeed, she is much smaller.  After I complained to my neighbors that the original had appeared and then disappeared without any of us knowing how or why, and expressed disappointment that we couldn't keep her on the mailbox, one of my neighbors bought us a new Hula Girl.  And a 2nd neighbor contributed two rubber duckies.  So last night I glued them all in place, in the hopes that they will stay awhile.  A 3rd neighbor commented, "It's a good thing it doesn't take much to keep us amused."  True.  It's a VERY quiet neighborhood!

As you can see from my previous post (the link is at the top of this one), the mysterious appearance of Hula Girl in the first place (a genuine Whodunnit) was only rivaled by her equally mysterious disappearance several days later.  When she came back--much smaller, it must be said (she must have been on a diet)--she arrived with a post-it note that said, "I've just gotten back from Hawaii." 

That would be Hawaii-via-Hollywood, as the previous post details.

Yep, doesn't take much to amuse us here in the boonies.  We are a quiet bunch.  But as I said previously, I do love my neighborhood.

As I drove out of my street yesterday I passed our mailboxes and nearly drove off the road when I spotted this:

Her mysterious arrival cracked me up.  I was out all day but when I drove home at dusk, there she was to greet me.  She had survived a couple of torrential downpours and looked fine.

Two of my neighbors were sitting on their porches and a quick survey revealed that while everyone has noticed her, no one would take responsibility for putting her there.

I love it.

We're all wondering how long she will last, as we have heavy bicycle, scooter, dog-walking, running, and leisure strolling that goes past this mailbox every day.

Some mysteries are just fun, and don't need to be solved.

UPDATE, posted on August 20th:
Alas, this morning the Hula Girl (aka "loose woman" as a friend referred to her) has disappeared.  And just when I was planning on glue-ing her to the top of the mailboxes so that she would be a permanent resident.  Darn, I missed my chance and she's now gone.  Curses!  "Easy come, easy go," I guess.  I will miss her.

UPDATE, posted on August 26th:
My tangling buddy Susie Ng in Thailand just sent me the following message, which has solved all questions about Hula Girl's disappearance: 
"I know you are not going to believe this, but I saw your loose woman. Have you seen the trucker movie Joyride 3? She appears about 10 min into the film and only for 2-3 seconds, when the front credits start. I am not kidding. Straw skirt and a guitar or whatever that is.
Anyway, now we know where she is (or has been) and that she once had a Hollywood engagement."

Really, you cannot go anywhere these days without being spotted and identified online.  And from the other side of the planet!  Priceless.

I admit I am somewhat mixing my religions and cultures here.  Hanuman is the Hindu monkey-god known for his strength and devotion (and much loved by Ram Dass, the longtime meditation teacher, author, and speaker).  Hanuman is normally depicted with a human body, but I hope we can cut him a little slack here.  And then of course, there's Buddha.  Actually, Hanuman is also found in some Buddhist teachings as well, but not as commonly as in Hinduism.

I put Buddha in Hanuman's lap because I thought this "alternative version of Hanuman" might need a dose of equanimity before he got crammed into a box and mailed off to a friend as a gift to her 8 month old son.  So, Hindu and Buddhist figures are playing together in this photo.

[NOTE:  Hanuman is now on his way to his next adventure - he's in the mail - and I've no doubt he is fully up to it.]

This is another wonderful toy made by my next-door neighbor.  She has a large assortment of hand-knitted toys--penguins, ducks, dogs, kitties, dinosaurs, you name it.  All beautifully made.  And then there is all her other lovely knitting, but since I don't have pictures, I won't go into that.  But you can imagine how kids react to these toys!  It's pandemonium when she sells them at fairs.  She is so clever.

Who doesn't hate to miss a good parade? 

My buddy P emailed me this picture only minutes after I'd driven away from her house today.   My car had been parked just feet from where the picture was taken.  (For outside-the-USA-readers, today is Memorial Day in the US, when most towns have parades to thank veterans.)  She's located about 1/4 mile away from the center of town.

Ok, so this was not the parade I was expecting, but I'm so sorry I missed it!

Getting ready for teaching Zentangle® this week, I did the two tiles above.  These are not tangles I'm planning on teaching tomorrow but were fun to do as warmups. 

Meanwhile, here are additional pictures of that fabulous parade.

 The photo above is a picture of Barbara Demorest, who founded Knitted Knockers, my absolute favorite things to knit.  She's sitting on a pile of (as-yet-unstuffed) Knockers.  I added to the pile this morning when I mailed off over 60 Knockers I made--I sent them to her organization to distribute, free, to cancer survivors who've had mastectomies.  This is such a rewarding and compelling reason to knit. 

Below you can see what a Knocker looks like once it's been stuffed with polyester.  So much better than the silicone/plastic prostheses, which are heavy and can promote sweating and irritation.  Knitted Knockers are light, airy, washable, and more closely resemble a genuine breast.

Let me allow Barbara and her organization to explain, as they can do it much better than I can. 

If you've had a mastectomy, I hope you will contact the organization and ask for a free Knitted Knocker.

And if you're a knitter, I certainly hope you will volunteer to make a few of these.  If you do, be sure to go to the organization's website to find a zillion patterns (knitted or crocheted, and many options for how to make them) and a list of "approved yarns."  Using only approved yarns is very important, as only certain fibers can be tolerated next to delicate and/or healing skin.  Thank you for considering this!

Here's the bag I sent to the organization this morning.  It's absolutely stuffed to the gills with Knockers I've made while watching tv in the evenings.  So easy to do, and so helpful to breast cancer survivors.

So...watch the people walking into the Spring Bulb Show at Smith College.  Everyone walking up to the door has a preoccupied or blank look; then as the door opens and they enter, the looks shift to shock, ecstasy, utter delight, and might even  be accompanied by shrieks of, "Wow!" or, "Ahhhhhhh...!" as the scent of hundreds of hyacinths and a million other types of bulbs hits the nose.  OMG, the smell, the fabulous smell.  It hits you the moment the door opens and never quits as you view the show.  It's the scent of Spring.  There is just nothing like it.

Below are some pictures, unfortunately unaccompanied by smell-a-vision.  If only.

...and tomorrow we are due to get a foot of snow.  But what the heck--today proved that spring is on the way.  Just outside the greenhouses I saw crocus and snowdrops blooming.  It's on the way, it's on the way!

When I went to my last local rug hooking meeting, I only expected to work on my rug and have fun. 

I had NO IDEA what would be waiting for all of us who attended. 

We were treated to an incredible show of rugs from Turkey, China, and Iran by one of the members, Elizabeth Vierling.  Dr. Vierling is a Professor of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, but she is also a rug maker and clearly has a passion for textiles.  I took a million photographs...unfortunately my memory of her very informative commentary on the origins and purposes of each piece is fading fast, but here are some of the photos.  Enjoy!

I believe this first piece was from Turkey.  It is very large and I think Elizabeth uses it as a rug in her home.  It is embroidered, using a couching stitch I think (see detail in last photo).  Probably circa mid 20th-century.

The color work is just sensational.  After ogling the piece (above) for a good long while, we all decided we are not using enough orange in our own designs. 

Apologies in advance to Elizabeth for how much I have already forgotten of what she said about each textile.  Her commentary on where she located each one, where and how each was created, and what each may have been used for, was fascinating.  But in the week since I saw these works, all of her commentary has started to slide right out of my head.  Darn!

If memory serves me--which likely it doesn't--below are two clothing panels embroidered by the Miao people of China (one of China's long-suppressed minority groups, now finally beginning to emerge and be recognized for their rich history and cultural treasures).

And if that weren't enough, there was more, and more still...click on each thumbnail to progress through the items, or just hit "Play."

 One of the most dramatic textiles was the one below.  I loved these tiny aliens.  The work is so beautiful, and the colors vibrant.  Each thumbnail has a different view (or you can just hit "Play").

Elizabeth travels for academic conferences, and is occasionally able to extend the travel time in order to take in more of the culture of the countries she is in.  This is why she has been able to explore and research textiles on some of her trips. 

Aren't we fortunate--those of us who were there to see this show?  With thanks to Elizabeth for letting me photograph and post the photos, for her lively talk and especially for lugging all the heavy, bulky textiles to the meeting.  All of her hard work resulted in a fabulous experience for the rest of us.

In reading one of the Zentangle® blogs, I just spotted the most amazing photographs on--of all things--manufacturing pencils.  They are in an article written for New York Times.

These amazing art photos were taken at the General Pencil Company (We who tangle love their pencils.  And according to the Zentangle blog, the owner of the company is now a Certified Zentangle Teacher, which delighted me).

I cannot show the photos because of course they are copyrighted, but you won't believe how beautiful they are.  Check them out HERE.

(Thank you to the Zentangle folks for publicizing this.)

Look what arrived on my doorstep today.  Oh boy oh boy.

NOTE to those who don't have time to read:  I DID NOT MAKE THESE OR DRAW ON THEM.  THEY CAME THIS WAY.

Golden Lotus boots.  Talk about mad love for an object--wow.  Love these.

I sent pictures to friends who know I tangle and they all went crazy for my amazing artwork.  They thought I made them.  Thank you to everyone who even had that passing thought.  I wish!!!  But I DIDN'T MAKE THESE.  I just bought them, as is.  They're commercial boots.  I took one look at them and helplessly succumbed. 

Did I need them? No.  Did I have to have them?  Oh yeah.  Am I sorry?  You're kidding, right?  NO.

I fear this makes me the Imelda Marcos of mindfulness practitioners.  Uh-oh.

Talk about a dramatic year.  And it still has over three months to go. 


I know I'm not the only one dealing with drama; Americans in general have their hands full with WAY too much drama at the moment--and given who is in the White House, it's bound to accelerate.  And alas, our drama tends to become the world's drama.


However, this isn't a post about politics.

So far this year for me:

1. I closed on my first-ever home.  A crazy-making process for sure.
2. I packed like a crazy woman, clearing out the 800 square foot apartment in which I'd lived for 40 years. 
3. Then I moved 2 hours away, from a big city to a small town, where I only knew two people (a much-loved couple).  I left all my beloved city-friends behind.
4. Before and after the move, several close friends suffered major personal crises--either their own health crises, or else that of close friends.  And now most of them are over two hours away.
5. Two months later my friends here left for seven weeks on an annual vacation, and I broke my wrist about three hours after they drove off.
6. Well, that brought everything to a grinding halt!. So all unpacking ceased.
7. But...healing is now well underway, I can imagine getting back to textile work, and I feel ready to begin unpacking again.

Today I went to my new studio and picked up the key.  That should explain the photo above.  Very exciting.

I'm feeling concerned and hopeful for my dear friends, all of them--near and far.  Feeling impatient to get on with my altered life here.  Feeling concerned about the political scene locally and globally.  Feeling more concerned than ever about our fragile, beautiful planet.

If I weren't meditating daily...well, I don't want to think about it.

May we be safe. 
May we be healthy. 
May we find peace, and find compassion for each other. 
May we grow kinder.
May we care for our mother, the Earth.

This weekend is the annual Franklin County Fair, a local tradition that's been going strong since 1843.  (HERE is a great article from 2013 about the fair.  Lots of photos.)

So off I went to the Fair, early this morning.
Easy to park.  Tons of kids with parents, and everyone looking really happy. 
I took photos:

Some rather wonderful quilts:

And of course, since it's an agricultural fair, there were plenty of fruit and vegetable exhibits:

It was somewhat ironic to see all the amazing winning fruit and vegetable displays, and then to walk outside and look at the food vendors and realize every item of food being offered to fair-goers was a heart-attack-on-a-plate item like fried dough, french fries, caramel apples, cotton candy, etc.  But that too is traditional at county fairs.  I passed on the food!  I would have loved some of the apples from the photo above, but alas, it was a prize-winning display-only, and none were for sale.

I bought two lovely things:

.

This stuff felt just luscious on my hands, and was faintly scented in the most subtle way.  I have a hunch I will want more, once the cold weather sets in.  And a little did a lot.

I thought I would try this stuff for my poor sore damaged hand (from the broken wrist).  When I bought it I was thinking, "What a sucker I am.  Waste of good money.  This will never make a difference."  But ya know...I think it does.  I am kind of amazed.  Time will tell.  It's formulated for arthritis.   Note the name:  "Hot & Flexy."

I was warned to be sure to wash my hands before touching my eyes after using it, because of the ingredients. 

Good idea.

Next came ogling some of the many critters on display:  the cows, bunnies, goats, butterflies, sheep, turtles, fish, donkeys and a few of these guys:

S/he (?) had just woken up and gotten up off the floor from a comfy night's sleep, hence the wood shavings all over the torso. 

I could relate, given how disheveled I often look in the mornings.  Ok, maybe I don't wake up covered in wood shavings but you get the idea.

I mentally congratulated all the winners and left, after first walking the midway with all its rides; that must be spectacular when it's lit up at night, and great fun.

Coming home, I made sure to finish doing my hand exercises.  Recovering from this injury has been a much bigger challenge than I thought.  But in the last 4 days I'm noticing some major improvements.

Two things that made me feel like a winner today:  1)  I unpacked three boxes, something I haven't been able to do since I broke my wrist in June.  I am beyond thrilled to see some of my favorite authors once more:  David Grayson, May Sarton, Henry Beston and an assortment of others.  Rumi and Kabir are at the far right.  I feel surrounded by friends again, when I look at this shelf in my living room.

And 2), the final major accomplishment:  three months after the wrist injury, I was able to hook my bra for the first time with both hands.  (I'm putting this at the very end because I figure no one will read this far)  For three months I've had to hook it using one hand only, placing it flat on the bed, and then wrestling it on over my head.  Awful!  A few days ago I tried putting it on normally--and couldn't.  I just didn't have the hand flexibility still.  I tried every day this week.  And then today--SUCCESS! 

And that's how I know that things really are improving.

Hallelujah.

Oh my gawd.  Who knew that I would be taking a five-month sabbatical from blogging?  I knew I would have to stop for awhile, but never thought it would be this long.

Little did I know that UN-packing on the other side of the move would take so much longer than the packing ever did.  I moved in late March, and I am still nowhere near ready to call myself settled.

In fact, I can declare myself un-settled.  Very unsettled indeed, on a number of levels.

I am confident that it will all come right in the end, but in this transition things have often felt very broken.  The absence of time to make art has been a major contributor to that.  I still do not have either the space or the time to draw, tangle, or hook/punch rugs.

I've had down days for sure--but I am making progress and once I sort out some of the remaining unpacking challenges, I'll be in good shape. 

​In all of the boxes I've unpacked, I've only noticed three broken items. All of them were much-loved pottery, and two are broken beyond repair.  Last night I set about to try to fix this one:

It's one of my favorite bowls by Nancy Shotola, whose pottery I've been collecting for years now.  When I finished my clumsy repair, it looked like this:

Yup.  Bloody awful.

But you know, it made me think of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing ceramics with gold-infused resin, transforming them into objects even lovelier than they were before.  (It's also referred to as "kintsukuroi.")  hope you'll take a moment to view the photos on that site.

And here is an extraordinarily beautiful song by Peter Mayer about this tradition, called Japanese Bowl.

My own clumsy, non-Kintsugi repair of that bowl meant that when I tested it by filling it with water after the glue had "set" overnight, all the water ran out of the bottom immediately.  Alas.  Unless I can figure out a way to repair-my-repair, I will no longer be able to use the bowl for storing liquids.  But that doesn't mean it can no longer be used, right?

There are life metaphors aplenty here.  Such as, learning to let go.  Or the famous Leonard Cohen quote, "There is crack in everything.  That's how the light gets in."  Or the Hemingway quote from A Farewell to Arms about being strong at the broken places.  

(Although I think the Hemingway quote is usually taken out of context; I'm not sure that, in its original context, it has the meaning we would like to attribute to it!)

Fortunately I have continued to meditate day after day, and that has undoubtedly kept me on a more even keel.   But even with the support of meditation, things have been rocky.  

There is simply no hastening the process of transition.

I have truly wonderful friends nearby.  And much-loved friends from my previous location have also been coming to visit.  I'm thinking of joining a chorus which rehearses only two blocks from here.  And I have found a great studio space that's only a twenty-minute walk, if I can ever find the time to begin doing art again.

Here's a relevant quote from Thomas Wolfe's book, You Can't Go Home Again, which encapsulates much of what I've been pondering:
 "You can't go back home to your family, back home to your childhood ... back home to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame ... back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time – back home to the escapes of Time and Memory." 

I've been thinking about the function of nostalgia in our lives.  When is nostalgia useful?  When is nostalgia an obstacle?  

​Here is just one reason I most certainly cannot go back, even if I wished to.  It's a photograph of what's underway in my old apartment.

Renovation is well underway in just about every room.

And that is true for me as well--renovation is definitely underway within my psyche.  It's turning up a lot of grime as I break through old psychological walls and floors.  There are days when I hardly recognize myself.  There are days when almost every single thing I do is a "first time adventure."  (Exhausting)  There are days, hours, minutes, that are dark.  There are storms moving through.  But, there are these days as well (below):

​Whatever the weather, I needed to do this.  

To return to my original analogy about the broken bowls:  I needed to shatter the container of my life and re-form it.  

​I'm at the stage now where things are in pieces and I am just beginning to put them back together.  

​It's disorienting, exciting, upsetting, hard, and comical.  This is a stage requiring a lot of patience.  

I am not patient.

In fact, I am highly proficient at impatience, heavily laced with whining.  

However, I am committed to seeing this through.

As with the art of Kintsugi, If i can mix the gold with the resin here and apply it carefully, then what comes out of this should be even more lovely than what went before.  Perhaps that is the one "art" that I am focusing on right now.

Wish me luck.

Here is a poem by Mollie Grant which says it all:
Kintsugi: the Japanese Art of Golden Repair
(I have not been able to reach her to get permission to print it here so I'm just directing you to her page and you can read the poem there.)

And check out this short post for a wonderful poem by Lisa Cohen on Kintsugi.

Yes, I am in the back of a police car here.  You can see bars on the window (you can actually see them better in the reflection on the left side of the photo).
I was thrilled.
I think--I hope--this is the only time in my life that I will get to ride in a police car.  So why was I happy?  Because they were rescuing us.  Me and my buddy K.  We had set out that morning to drive to CT for a meeting of rug hookers at a good friend's house.  While leaving Boston we hit a pothole on the Mass Turnpike and shredded the tire on my friend's car.  Argh!!!  Nasty.

We limped along on the Pike with hazard lights on and got off at the next exit, which was close, fortunately.  I'll spare you the details of a long and somewhat harrowing wait for help (over an hour).  The tow truck driver couldn't take 2 people in his truck, so a kindly policeman agreed to ferry us to the garage, and did. 

I was in the side of the police car that was apparently for the hardened criminals--no door handle, bars on the windows, hard plastic seat (the better to hose off easily in case of unmentionable disgusting substances produced by anyone sitting there).  My friend K was in the opposite seat; her door had a handle and her window had no bars on it.  Between us (and also between us and the front seat) was a barrier of clear plexiglass, undoubtedly bullet-proof. 

I was so interested to see what all this was like!  It was the ONLY good thing about this adventure, trust me.  Of course I couldn't keep my mouth shut and told the kind officer that he was giving two hookers a ride.  Perhaps that is why I ended up on the "wrong side" of the back seat?  I wish you could have seen his face, until I explained I was referring to rug hooking. 

I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  The short ride was mind-bogglingly uncomfortable as we bounced up and down over every tiny bump.  Those hard-plastic seats are really torture.

I totally loved my ride in the Paddy Wagon.

After which we got the repair done and proceeded to CT.  We had to--we were bringing lunch.  We got to stay for only 3 hours before we had to go home, and had a great time as always, but I was so disappointed because we usually stay all day and the setting is absolutely gorgeous.  Oh well, another time.

Yesterday I was able to move out of my studio here, with the help of a very kind friend, and bring it 90 miles west to my new home.  We couldn't quite get everything in, but here is all that's left:

It will be a cinch to move these final things and I can just put them in my car.





Here is the most recent picture from my room-packing exploits:

Not too much left besides the kitchen, some clothing, and odds and ends.  It's all beginning to become real.  I'm curious to see what the next month brings, and how I will react to it.  Which reminds me:  it's time to meditate.

So here is why I haven't been blogging, and won't be able to blog much for awhile.
This.....................................................................................................and this:

O, mama!  My aching back.  Truthfully, my back is fine--a major miracle--but my knees are killing me.  Each day I set a goal of how much to get done, and so far so good.  But wow, is there a long way to go. 

It's bad.  But oddly, it's not quite as bad as I'd feared.

The plus side is that I'm finding lots of buried treasure.

-- A memorial journal to a beloved friend (pictured) who died many years ago.   I haven't seen it for years and it has a number of great photos and stories--I'll have to get it back into circulation with her other friends, who are all still special much-loved people in my life.
--Several notebooks with tarot notes I wrote back in the 1970s. 
-- Random photos popping up, small glimpses of a former life. 
-- Books I no longer need and can let go of (hurrah!), and wonderful "old-friend-books" I haven't seen in a long time. 

So far I have resisted taking the time to dive into the buried treasure, but tonight I  plan on indulging myself, going thru the memorial journal and looking through those 40 year old notes on tarot. 

“It's easier to die than to move ... at least for the Other Side you don't need trunks.”
― Wallace Stegner, Angle of Repose

I've been in caught in a maelstrom of activity:  First spending time with my Woolies, then driving out of state to attend an amazing workshop, then home to officially close on the condo.

I am now a home owner.  Gulp. 

I've been packing like a crazy woman, loading up the car, and driving across the state and back several times.  I'm completely immersed in the early stages of the mess of moving.  But I'm getting ahead of myself...

First there was the Wooly Bully meeting the Friday before Martin Luther King weekend.  Here are some shots of the rugs we've been working on:

Then on Saturday of Martin Luther King day weekend, I drove to Vermont to take a paste-paper journal workshop with Nancy Shepherd.  It was not an good time for me to be doing this, given the messy transition I'm in, but I had signed up for it several months in advance--before I knew what the future held.  More importantly, I had been wanting to take this workshop for about 20 years (seriously), after my friend Georg made many such journals and gave me several.  Here is a photo of all the journals produced by the students over this three-day workshop:

H

Below are all the paste papers I made on the first day of the workshop.  They are laid out on newspaper to dry. 
I wish I'd had a chance to photograph everyone's papers, but I was only able to snap my own.

Here are the front covers of the journals I made, and their bindings:

I have to say I was thrilled beyond belief to learn how to do this.  My only wish is that had the time now to practice with all the other papers I created.  But that will have to wait until after I move and unpack--so the earliest that I'll be getting back to this will be summer.  Phooey.  Not only that, but I don't have room to store the new papers because I'm packing everything up; I had to store all of them in my hosts' house in Vermont. 

This would be a good time to say a hearty thank-you to my two kind and talented hosts, Sadelle and Ann.  Not only did they put me up (or more accurately, "put up with me" !!) but they went way above and beyond with great conversation and excellent home cooking.  "Num num num," as Cookie Monster would say.  And then there were the Sweetie-Pie Doggie, the Cat Who Must Be Obeyed, and the Shy Timid Kitty, who were really lovely.  Thank you Sadelle and Ann for making this possible.

But wait, there's more...

Coming back from Vermont, I drove to the condo for a pre-purchase walk-through, then drove back to Boston.  The following day I signed all the final papers to officially buy it.  24 hours later, I left Boston and drove back to the condo and stayed for two nights.  Then back here for a couple of days, then out there again for two more nights.  Taking stuff with me each trip...lots of packing, hauling, moving.  I'm exhausted and feel like a ping-pong ball.  I'm sure it will all be worth it, but this is not easy.  Here are some views:

Oh, and in between all this, two wonderful signs somehow sneaked into this post.  The first is my favorite sign from the women's march:

Next I saw this sign (below) in front of my friend Elizabeth's store, and promptly went online HERE and ordered my own copy to download.

That's my (current) story, and I'm sticking to it.

All I can say is, thank goodness for meditation.

I need a vacation.

2016 was a very tough year.  No matter which "side" you were on in the brutal election season, it was tough on all of us.  The results of the election devastated and terrified me, and many others, on behalf of the future of our people and our planet.

But I cannot move forward or act effectively if I continue to live in this place of devastation and terror.

So, my word for 2017 is:  ACCEPTANCE.

Now before those of you who share my political views take umbrage, please bear in mind that "ACCEPTANCE" DOES NOT IMPLY "APPROVAL" or "AGREEMENT." But if we are to take right action on any situation, we must first see the situation clearly as it is.  In other words, a gray sky is gray, even if we would prefer it to be blue.  The traffic jam we are caught in is indeed a traffic jam, no matter how much we'd prefer to be speeding down the highway.  Do we have to like it?  No.  Agree with it?  NO.  But in order to deal with it, we have to accept that it is what is happening in this moment.  That's where we are. 

So, now what?

I've been pondering this and looking for good resources on acceptance.  Tara Brach's books, like True Refuge, are on my reading list.  I am observing how consistently people confuse  Acceptance with Agreement.  They are NOT the same.  Acting from a place of denial or blind rage produces terrible results, and is one consequence of not being willing to face things "as they are" in order to  choose the best possible action.

I know whereof I speak.  I've just spent the entire last month refusing to accept the way things are in my life.  With predictably ineffective and poor results.  It's time to face reality.

I hasten to add that I have a l-o-n-g way to go to achieve any sort of acceptance, but I plan to be focusing on it.  2017 is going to be a challenging year for me, not just because of the election results but because I am relocating after many years in one place.  I need to remember what one good friend was saying to herself yesterday:  "Stay in the now.  Stay in the now.  Stay in the fucking NOW."  (She was talking about her acceptance of her own temporary medical issue, but it applies 100% to me as well.)   Anyone who knows me and has been around me lately knows how far away I am from achieving the wisdom and peace that acceptance can bring.

The Buddhists have the best perspective on this, and here are some short online pieces that I have found useful.  You do not have to be Buddhist to appreciate these thoughts:

• tinybuddha.com/blog/3-steps-to-practice-acceptance-have-a-peaceful-life/
• secularbuddhism.com/acceptance-vs-resignation/
• www.huffingtonpost.com/ethan-nichtern/radical-buddhism_b_671972.html (This is an excellent critique of the way some Americans misunderstand the concept of acceptance as meaning approval or resignation.)
  

Finally, there's one last post on 16 ways to practice acceptance.  I do not agree with every sentiment expressed in this article, but overall I like it.  Here's a summary of the 16 points if you don't have time to read it:

I'll be focusing on Acceptance this year, which means I hope to be clearer and more effective at seeing when things need to change (and when they don't), and how best to act to change them.  My meditation practice will help, and I hope my friends will feel free to remind me of this focus when I lose it.

“Sometimes you just have to regret things and move on.”
― Charlaine Harris

What a lovely day today was. 

The Red Buddha on the left is a photo I took of a large installation on the wall of an unlit back hall of a local restaurant--apparently supervising things while in the dark and unseen.  I discovered it on my way to the restroom.  The dramatic red color is due to the fact that the only light is a red exit sign just over the Buddha's head.

This Buddha is about four feet tall, apparently made from cement.  I couldn't help wondering what it was doing mysteriously installed in the darkness, nearly invisible. 

Perhaps some things we'll just never understand.

I was at the restaurant with two very dear friends who, as it happened, hadn't seen each other in over a quarter century.  I've seen both of them but they hadn't seen each other.  In the interim they've both had and raised children up to adulthood. 

We three had a lovely lunch.

After lunch we took an Uber to the Fogg Art Museum and entered the Dreamtime.  We went to the truly wonderful exhibit by Aboriginal Artists which is currently on display.  All the work shown was inspired and gorgeous, three large rooms of dreamy paintings, carvings, and other objects.  Below are three of my favorites with their credits and commentary.  I urge you to go and see this exhibit before it closes in early September.  Check the URL above for more information and more pictures.

Originally I had planned this trip with one friend; my other friend suddenly contacted me last night to say that she was coming into town and did I have time today...?  So we swept her into our plans, which meant that two people who hadn't seen each other in decades had the pleasure and fun of reconnecting.  And I had the pleasure and fun of being with both of them, and watching them catch up.

Friends.  I am so lucky to have them.  Thank you both for a wonderful day.

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”
― Elie Wiesel

Look who paid me a visit in the studio today, completely out of season:

I mean, it's April, for heaven's sake.  What is he doing around?  At least he brought his cat.  That was fun.

Ok, ok.  What is this about...?

On Monday, I noticed a craigslist ad for three hooked rugs for $12 each.  With photos.  They were all wonderful.  I wondered if they could actually be hand-hooked.  If they were, I found the price both exciting and depressing. 

Anyway, I am NOT, repeat...NOT...a Christmas or a Santa fan.  But I know lots of people who are, and I had one in mind.  Plus even I--the original Grinch--thought this Santa-with-an-adorable-obviously-loved-kitty was darling.

I emailed the photos to my rug hooking group and sure enough, Cheryl the Rug Rescuer was interested.  And I was interested in one of the other two rugs.  So on Monday I drove to a local Costco parking lot which was halfway between the seller's town and my town, and bought two of the rugs.  Of which Santa is one.  On the way there it occurred to me that I had sadly neglected to ask the most important question:  "Are these rugs hand-hooked?"  I can't believe I didn't ask that!

By the time I pulled into the parking lot I realized my error and pretty much assumed they were machine-made in China.  And that's how it seemed at first.  But then...

Here's a closeup of the cutie-pie cat.  Who cares if he's not hand-hooked?

Ok, so I meet the seller in the parking lot and my first question is the one I should already have asked.  I can see that the three rugs all have a weird backing attached to them.  A bad sign.  Definitely machine made.  Then the lovely and nice seller tells me she bought them from Orvis (she thinks) years ago.  Ok, not just machine made but machine made IN CHINA probably.  Worse and worse.

But who can resist these rugs?  (I'll show the one I kept tomorrow.)

So for $12 each, I buy 2 of the 3 rugs.  They are in great shape and totally clean.  Well-loved.  In the car, I see that the one I'm keeping for myself is "!00% wool, made in China."  Definitely not hand-hooked.

But then...

I researched hooked rugs at Orvis tonight and found the following statement on an old webpage they had (they no longer sell hooked rugs):  "All of our wool hooked rugs are still completely handhooked for an authentic texture, character, feel and coloration. Each depicts a domestic scene that continues the 200 year old tradition of hooked rugs."

No kidding!  So while I'm sorry that some unfortunate Chinese laborer, who doesn't believe in Christmas (I get it, neither do I) was likely forced to make this a few decades ago and probably wasn't paid more than 25 cents, the rug IS here, after all, and we may as well care for it and love it for as long as it exists. 

Sad.  But also, a really wonderful design.  And hand-hooked, after all!

So Santa really did come to visit my studio today, and he's sleeping there with his kitty tonight, at least until Cheryl comes tomorrow to take him home.

You may well ask, what the hell are those things?

They are my new laundry detergent.

Seriously.

At least, I think they are.  I am still in the testing stage.  I've only used them in one laundry cycle so far and they appeared to work great, but I want to try them in several washes before I'm convinced.

Have I lost my mind?  And...how did I find out about these things?

Facebook, of course.  Someone mentioned this company in their "reply" to a post on the environment.  They raved about this product.

Two things made me go immediately to their website:

1. I was running out of my regular detergent, which is an environmental brand (supposedly) but has a smell that makes me crazy, and I am NOT usually sensitive to scents.  It cleans fine but I dislike the smell before, during, and after the wash.
   
2. I had heard of soapberries years ago (that's what the nutty-looking berries above are) but was highly skeptical and didn't know where to find them or how to use them.
   

I went to the SoBerryClean website and read everything, and was intrigued enough to try them (they have a $3 sample size, enough for quite a few washes).  I ordered the 8 oz version and the picture at right shows what I got:  one 8 oz bag with a label with instructions on the back, and a small muslin bag to put 4-5 berries in and toss in the wash.

So, I did.

Result:  Apparently perfectly clean clothes with NO scent.  And it was a stinky wash, with old blue jeans and some tee shirts I'd worn on a couple of recent hot days.  As far as I can tell, the berries did exactly what I wanted.

Aside from the apparently effective washing (I'm still reserving a final opinion until I do several more loads and see what I think then, so stay tuned), I love the fact that the company is family-owned and based on Massachusetts on Cape Cod.  The box they came in was recycled and didn't contain any nasty styrofoam peanuts--all that was in there was the bag with the berries.  And this sweet note was included in the box:

Adorable.  What's not to love?  Unless the product doesn't work, and so far I think it does.  Time will tell. 

No really--I am not getting any money from them for writing about this.  And as I've said, I am initially impressed and hopeful but am reserving judgement until after a few more uses.

(After I ordered this product I discovered that my local excellent natural products store also carries soapberries, but apparently a different brand.  If I like these, perhaps I'll give those a try also.  Who knew there were different brands?)

UPDATE:  It's now three washes later.  I took the soapberries out of their bag to see what's happening to them.  As you can see, the bottom one has split open.  In fact, though it's not immediately obvious, they are all splitting open.  The one at the very top is clearly in the process of splitting.  From what I read on the SoBerry website, these are still quite usable, likely for at least 2 more washes.  I will check after each  wash I do.

And the results?  Thus far my clothes, sheets, and towels are still getting very clean, and there's no artificial scent to deal with.  One thing I forgot to mention is that if I need to pre-treat a stain before washing, soapberries can't be used for that and I'll need to use my standard laundry pre-treater.  But I don't have to do that very often so that's not an issue for me.

I am really liking these a lot.  Unless something happens to change my mind, I think I have found my new laundry detergent--and it's guaranteed not to pollute!  The used berries are completely compostable, so I'll just toss them in the garden when they are done.